Why Are Relationships in Recovery a Bad Idea?

For example, we may never have asked someone out when we were sober, or when not at a bar or party, and may not know how to do so. This is why self-discovery is so crucial to the recovery process. Many of us are learning to live with a whole new side of ourselves that we may not have had to live with for a very long time. Learning to handle everything life throws at you without a crutch can be terrifying, which is why many people suffering from addiction continue to avoid it. Especially when many of our life experiences have been negative. Through recovery, we are creating a new relationship with ourselves, and just like any other relationship, this process requires a lot of work.

Is a relationship as bad as taking a harmful drug that will cause damage to your body? When the substances are gone and the relationship is gone, it leaves us back where we started with little skills to navigate a sober life on their own. There isn’t a “one-size-fits-all” solution to recovery, so it takes time and effort trying to figure out which individualized steps are needed to reach that end goal.

Why Are Relationships in Recovery a Bad Idea?

As much as you want romance to work in recovery, it is not advised. Recovery is a time of self-healing, full of personal reflection and self-assessment. It is a time of learning, in which you gain positive coping skills to handle any negative feelings or temptations that come your way.

How do I meet friends in recovery?

  1. Sign up for a Bible study group at your place of worship.
  2. Volunteer at a local nonprofit organization.
  3. Take a fitness class at the local gym.
  4. Join a city rec sports team.
  5. Try out for a community theater production—or sign up to help out backstage.
  6. Join your public library's book club.

At a certain point, decide that you will have to stop making your relationships in recovery one pay for the events that occurred in the past. Neither one of you can go back and change them, nor does holding them over their head do anything for your current relationship. Accept what happened, and if you have received an apology and a sincere offer to make amends, decide to close the door on the issue forever. Never bring it up again, no matter how hurt or upset you become later. It’s possible to re-establish trust after it has been broken, but it takes time.

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An imbalance in relationships, codependency is often defined by manipulation by one party and an unhealthy need to please in another. The problem is that this can enable a return to addiction because there are no healthy boundaries in place – a primary concern in early recovery. Take the time to truly get to know yourself and allow yourself to evolve in recovery before trying to acclimate to the needs and desires of others in relationships.

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These can show your family that you are making an effort to fill the time with productive activities. However, friendships, relationships with family, and our relationship with ourselves are just as important. Relationships are one of our most basic and innate needs as humans. Biologically, we are programmed to desire a closeness to others; we long to feel supported and loved, and want others to accept that love and support from us. Our hearts, as well as science, say that we need these relationships to live life fully.

CCAR Recovery Coach Training April 2023

The co-dependent family member needs to seek counseling to learn new behavior patterns. Family members may react to a loved one’s addiction by stepping in to help with the best of intentions. Not everyone in the family will agree with trying to help the addicted family member.

In the past, https://ecosoberhouse.com/ may have been motivated by our partner’s ability to score drugs or provide money. We may have sought out people who can share our addiction with us rather than our love and affection. Sometimes, we simply enjoyed, even if unconsciously, the emotional rollercoaster of extreme highs and lows often found in intense relationships.

Are You Struggling with Recovery? Contact Illuminate Recovery for Help

It is one thing to develop acquaintanceships with people at work and it is quite another to start dating in early recovery. Determine whether or not you have the ability to manage the ups and downs that are inevitable to new romance. Because you are doing the hard work to better yourself and make healthy choices every day, you are a good friend to have around and a positive influence on the people around you. Although no one in recovery is immune to the possibility of relapse, those who are new are especially vulnerable.


No matter that the circumstance, always consider sobriety your number one priority over anything else, including your relationship. Immediately address anything threatens to thwart your recovery progress, even if that means ending the relationship. These worries will influence a person’s judgment and encourage them not to take action.


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